A quarter of a lifetime has gone by and guess what? I’m still a hot mess trying to figure it all out, just like everyone else. There’s been a lot of ups and downs, but also a ton of lessons along the way.
1. Setting boundaries is essential to your happiness.
Stating your needs is a strength, not a weakness. In our day and age, playing it cool is so overrated, but somehow it has become the norm. Step into your power and you will attract the right energy.
2. People have their own journeys too.
Just like you’ve got fear of rejection issues and anxiety that you’re coping with, the other people in your life have things they need to deal with too (even if they’re not aware of it yet). It’s so easy to think there is something wrong with you or everything is your fault, but remember that sometimes, it’s not you. It’s 100% them.
3. You don’t need to please everyone.
All the people pleasers, hear me out. If you are busy pleasing everyone, you’re most likely neglecting yourself. Your happiness is not dependent on others.
4. Letting go of control is not easy.
2020 brought in elements we had no control over. When you feel a constant need to control things, it could be because to some extent, your childhood was dysfunctional, and as an adult now, you’re trying to combat those experiences.
5. Therapy is a gamechanger.
Therapy (if you can afford it) is very enlightening. It is incredibly insightful to learn how your childhood, self-limiting beliefs, and fears are holding you back in your adulthood.
6. Don’t blame everything on your anxiety.
To know the difference between your intuition and your anxiety is a mind fuck. So what’s the difference? Emotion often comes with anxiety, whereas your intuition is often detached. Intuition is powerful, and yet we often overlook it.
7. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Social media can be so toxic. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to see everyone’s achievements and compare them to your insecurities and shortcomings. You’re your own person and no one can take that from you.
8. Showing gratitude helps you feel more fulfilled.
Your friends and family have always been there for you, and if you’re going through a tough time, showing them gratitude will instantly make you feel better, trust me.
9. Sometimes we are afraid to ask those critical questions.
This was hard for me to accept, and I’m sure it’s hard for you to accept too. Living in ignorance is absolute bliss, but it’s also delusional. We sometimes delay asking the important questions to avoid the answer, because deep down, we know it’s not what we want to hear. It’s a painful lesson.
10. Going for walks is highly underrated.
Probably the mantra for March 2020 and onward.
11. Don’t take things so personally.
A wise person once said, “What other people say about you reflects a lot more about them, not you.”
12. Also, don’t take life too seriously.
Life already has enough hardships. Add a little levity and poke fun at yourself when you can.
13. Mindset is everything.
If you think everything sucks and you suck, well, don’t be surprised if you aren’t showered with abundance. It can be so hard, and everyone is entitled to bad days of course, but positive thinking can flip the script.
14. Let them underestimate you.
Underestimating someone can be a very dangerous and foolish thing to do. If someone doubts you, it’ll feel plenty more validating when you prove them wrong.
15. Affirmations and quotes work.
Writing down affirmations about yourself is great, especially if you have a habit of ruminating on the same shit over and over and over again.
16. Begin to live intentionally.
Whatever it is you want to do in life, go after it with ferocity. Set your intention, work hard, and make it happen.
17. Happiness comes from within.
The pandemic has really allowed me to figure out what I desire in life. I used to rely on a lot of external validation for my own happiness pre-Covid, but meditation and self-care has allowed me to focus on the inner work that needs to be done.
18. Love isn’t complicated.
People are. If someone is making it difficult to be with them, let them go. If they liked you, they wouldn’t put themselves in a position to lose you.
19. Sometimes a good cry is all you need.
Even if you’re not much of a crier, crying actually releases endorphins, which is why it feels better to just let it out. If you have to choose between the suppress and express button, choose the express button!
20. I can’t reiterate this enough: Take your damn vitamins and drink water.
Self-care all day.
21. Mistakes are a good thing.
Mistakes mean you took a risk and you’re living. Yeah, maybe it didn’t play out the way you wanted, but a majority of people play it way too safe in life.
22. Trauma is not easy to deal with.
Whatever painful experience you might not want to relive, it’s okay to take it a day at a time, as long as you face it eventually.
23. Healing does take time.
That being said, healing doesn’t happen overnight. You might want certain feelings to disappear, but true healing takes a while to cope with. I’ve had so many people this year reiterate, “The only way out of it is through”.
24. 24 is still fucking young, so chill.
Regardless of what your parents say, 24 is still young. I understand why your 20s are such a mess. When we’re in school, we say, “Okay, time to go to college.” When we graduate college, we say, “Okay, time to start working.” But then that happens and you’re not really given a blueprint from there, so it’s kind of free for all.
25. The best is yet to come.
If you’ve had a rough year, you’re not alone. But this lovely saying by Frank Sinatra helps me every day. I remind my higher self that hopefully, there are better things ahead of me. So rather than dwell on the mistakes or the mishaps, I’m going to trust and believe that 25 will be better. Cheers to my quarter life crisis!